THE REAL MEANING OF PLANT CATALOG TERMINOLOGY:
"A favorite of birds" … means to avoid planting near cars or sidewalks.
“Moisture loving” … means ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps.
“Vigorous growth” … means has Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world.
“Grows more beautiful each year” … means looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future.
AS A SALUTE TO OUR FLORAL FRIENDS:
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
WE ARE GLAD SOMETIMES THAT IT’S JUST THE INITIAL PHONE INTERVIEW SO THE CANDIDATE CAN’T SEE HOW HIGH OUR EYEBROWS CAN ACTUALLY GO…
Q: How would your superior describe your work ethic if we were to call him/her?
A: To be honest, we haven’t been on speaking terms for months.