Hort Humor Corner Vol. 1

8/22/2016
Suzanne

THE REAL MEANING OF PLANT CATALOG TERMINOLOGY:

"A favorite of birds" … means to avoid planting near cars or sidewalks.

“Moisture loving” … means ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps.

“Vigorous growth” … means has Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world.

“Grows more beautiful each year” … means looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future.

 

AS A SALUTE TO OUR FLORAL FRIENDS:

A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"

 
WE ARE GLAD SOMETIMES THAT IT’S JUST THE INITIAL PHONE INTERVIEW SO THE CANDIDATE CAN’T SEE HOW HIGH OUR EYEBROWS CAN ACTUALLY GO…

Q: How would your superior describe your work ethic if we were to call him/her?

A: To be honest, we haven’t been on speaking terms for months.

 

FINAL FUNNY:

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