Hort Humor Corner Vol. 2

9/13/2016
Jeff

Hort Tip Of The Week:  

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.  If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

 

Clear indications you have too much Zucchini:

  1. Your neighbor finds them every morning in his mailbox; you no longer can make eye contact.
  2. Nightmares about giant Zucchini plants wake you up at night.
  3. You shred it and figure out a way to put it in breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  And snacks too.
  4. Your kids are using it for building blocks.
  5. You spray your Zucchini plants with sugar water solely to attract insects; and even they won’t eat it.

 

The Best Zucchini Recipe:

A bunch of zucchini (as much as you can carry)
1 raincoat (just because)
1 pair of sunglasses (remember, no eye contact when it comes to Zucchini)
A moderately fast car (most important ingredient, don’t skimp on this one)

Directions: Go to a busy parking lot. Drive around until you find an unlocked car. Put the zucchini in the back seat and drive away FAST before you are discovered!

Our salute to our floral friends:

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. The flowers arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card: "Rest in Peace."  The owner was annoyed, and called to complain.  "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, and sorry you were offended," said the florist. "But even worse, somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, "Congratulations on your new location."

 

Final Funny:

 
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